Thursday, December 22, 2011

Success and Day Care

Yesterday one of my co-workers took me out to lunch. She is only a year or two older than I am and unmarried. I will refer to her as R throughout this post.

Our conversation turned toward children. I mentioned how expensive daycare is, and how it is hardly a wise financial decision to send kids there, especially considering that it means spending all your time away from them. She said "Yeah, but it has statistically been proven that children who go to daycare are more successful than children who stay at home."

First of all, my degree in Political Science taught me that statistics are usually a huge lie, but that aside, I decided to respond to her calmly.

I said "That depends on what someone considers successful to be."

She said "The numbers show that children who go to daycare end up making more money throughout their lifetime and achieving a higher level of education than children who don't go to daycare. They also have higher social skills."

Oh great, the old social skills bologna. Sigh. I love how modern society has brainwashed everyone. So I said "Personally, I think it is sad we live in a society that equates money and education with success. I believe that if my future children love God with all their hearts and can express that love to others, I will have been the most successful of parents. If my kids go on to be surgeons, so be it. But that is NOT success."

Then I said "R, look at me. Do I look socially impaired? I come from one of the most open and lovingly expressive families, and we were all raised at home. I am not socially stunted from that in the least. In fact, I think it helped me. I felt secure enough at home to go explore from there."

She said "yeah but many stay at home moms don't spend their time with their children. They're out getting pedicures or letting the tv babysit the kids."

I said "that's unfortunately the case sometimes, but I definitely know many situations personally where that is not the case."

She backpedaled a bit after that.


  1. major ugh. That is so dumb... Those "stats" are so stilted. Because most of the people who go to daycare come from "work oriented" families, obviously. They are programmed from a very early age that nothing is as important as a good carreer (not even them). So of course, they are going to be predisposed to perpetuate that line of thinking by being "work/income oriented" themselves. I am quite confident that I can still produce hard working, college grads even though my kiddos didn't do to daycare.

    (funny story: I once had a similar conversation with a co-worker and said the same thing, "I have good social skills, don't I?!" She said, "well, actually.... you are a little weird." I never said that again! oh well. :-)

  2. It's funny how statistics can prove whatever we want them to prove, but I know there are studies that refute your co-worker's conclusions.

    Studies aside, logic tells us that we are more happy when raised by caregivers who love us deeply and personally. I'm sure that God overcomes the difficulties of daycare for single moms who have no other choice, but all of us would prefer our mom and home life if we had the choice. Gail (Bible Love Notes)


I love to fellowship with others and hear what they have to say. I would ask, however, that you be mindful of what you write and try to be uplifting and respectful. Thank you for sharing!