My husband and I chose to stay home for the holiday, even though it would have been nice to spend the weekend with family. We really felt that we needed to be at our church, celebrating Christ with our church family today. Our families can have every other holiday... this one belongs to Christ.
So this morning I woke up and got dressed for church. I have quite a few dresses, and have purged most of my more immodest choices from my wardrobe. Today I put on my favorite dress, which is the one I wore to my mom's wedding 2 summers ago. I chose it then because it was a more modest choice, but was still very cute. However, today I realized that this dress is definitely not as modest as I once thought it was.
|The pretty yellow dress I wore today for Easter|
I am sure many of you are rolling your eyes right now, because the dress above seems quite tame by modern standards. And believe me, I have worn WAY more scandalous clothing over the years. However, when I accepted Christ back into my life a few years ago, God poured his Holy Spirit into me, and began to pull and tug at me to mold me into the best person I can be for him.
I was just telling my husband today how amazed I constantly am that God, who sees the worst parts of me, who sees the horrible decisions I made in the past, has chosen to have me for his own. And he didn't stop there! Over the past few years he has slowly erased the worst parts of me, and strengthened and grown the best parts. I have become a new person not in order to be saved, but because in being saved God now calls me his own.
One of the ways God has changed me is in my clothing style. I will not elaborate too much here on my modesty standards, but you can read more about them at these links. I chose to become more modest in my clothing style. Not because I am ugly or self-conscious, but because as a sister in Christ, I have the responsibility to help my brothers in Christ in their journey, and tempting them and causing impure thoughts because of my dress is not Christ-like. I also have realized the joy in drawing attention to my face, my smile, and my personality. My husband tells me often (and in fact told me this morning) how he thinks I am more beautiful now that I keep my body safe from others' eyes. He is happy that I am only his.
So back to my story from this morning. Here I was in church, tugging on my hemline, trying to use my purse to hide what little of my thigh can be seen. I was so sad! My favorite dress, in my favorite color, does not meet the modesty standards I have set for myself! Where even a year ago I may not have hesitated to wear it, I am now so uncomfortable in it!
As my modesty standards have changed over the last few years, I have slowly changed out my closet. It started when I gave all my mini-skirts to my old roommate. Then I gave all my thin-strap tank tops to Goodwill. Now I rarely wear tank tops without a cardigan or other shirt over it. Then I gave away a few of my shirts which were maybe a little too low cut. As I have gone on this journey, it has been very difficult. Especially as I have given away some of my favorite clothing! It made me so sad at first, but as I have slowly changed my wardrobe I have been rewarded with encouragement from my husband and more wholesome attentions from others.
So today I realized I have another layer of clothing that needs to go. It is very sad for me, really, as I've realized I have no nice dresses which meet my modesty standards anymore! I knew for a while that some of these dresses were inappropriate and that I need to get rid of them, but sentimental value made them stay in my closet longer.
|Finally letting go of my favorite, and yet still too immodest, dresses|
Luckily I have found some great websites which offer modern and modest dresses at a decent price. Take a look at Mikarose if you never have. They have beautiful dresses, most around $50, which are all quite modest. I will be saving up to buy one or two of them in the coming months.
How about you? Have you also fought with modesty before?