Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Work of Marriage

I'm sure you have all heard it before: marriage takes work.  My husband and I are getting ready to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary on March 5th. I have come to realize that marriage does take work, but I have also come to see that most of that work is what I should be doing anyway in order to be an obedient follower of God.

My husband and I decided that every year before our anniversary we will read a marriage book at the same time. We read some marriage books in our premarital counseling, and we found them so beneficial to the healthy start of our marriage. As happy as I am in our marriage, there is still a lot to work on. I don't ever see a time in our lives when we will not have work to do on our characters and our marriage.

This year we actually chose to read 2 books (to make up for last year). I found both of our books at They suggested a pair of books as "The books your should read if you never read another marriage book again". I know there are a lot of crazy marriage books out there, and it is so easy to get ungodly marriage counsel, so I read the reviews on this pair of books and bought the set for us.

We are both about half-way through our book, and I have to say that my book has been life changing. Honestly, this book packs some big punches. In fact, I have found myself getting a little irritated at how right this book is on so many things that I haven't wanted to admit to myself. There is a lot of scripture in the book and a lot of theological exploration which will help you grow as a Christian and a wife.

The book also addresses some very difficult situations, such as how to respond as a wife to an husband who is not a Christian, or who is not taking his role as a Christian husband seriously. I will warn you, this book doesn't shy away from controversial topics, and you may find some of what it says to run contrary to the "women rah-rah" society we live in today, but it is a Biblically centered book (and as we know, God's ways are not always our ways).

My husband has also enjoyed his book and I have noticed some real differences in him lately. As I have been a Christian longer than him, in the past he has sometimes been uncomfortable leading our faith life. But I have noticed a difference in his leadership and the way he leads me. It has been a wonderful experience so far... and we are only halfway through the books! I see myself re-reading my book over and over again to glean all I can from it.

The other book we will be reading is the same for both of us, and again we found it at as a suggestion on
We haven't started this book yet, but it will be next on our lists. Have any of you read it? What did you think?

Do you have any good Christian marriage resources to recommend? Please share in the comments section 


  1. What books did you read during your premarital counseling that you found helpful? Are the books you are reading now ones you wish you read earlier?

    1. Hi Julianne, one of the books we read was the set "for women only" and "for men only" by Shaunti Feldhahn. They are not super in-depth books but they are definitely a good place for you to start before marriage. Some marriage books can be almost too in-depth for premarital counseling, I think, because they require experience to get all the benefits.

      I also suggest than any Christian woman, especially one that will be getting married soon (or is married for that matter), read the 8 week Bible study True Woman 101 I did the Bible study after getting married but it really helped me grow as a wife and as a Christian woman.

  2. I have read 'The Excellent Wife', but I need to read it again!
    I love 'The Family' by J.R. Miller. I plan to give a copy of it to every engaged person I come across!
    'Family Shepherds..' by Voddie Baucham is apparently a good one for men.
    And the resource that has most blessed me in my calling as a wife has been the cd set by Victoria Botkin, "She Shall be Called Woman".

  3. I definitely want to read "The Excellent Wife". I just finished "Created to be his help meet by Debi Pearl and it was fantastic!


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