Well my friends, the worst has happened. After not seeing the heartbeat last week, I had a bad feeling today that we were going to get some bad news. Today it was confirmed that we lost our baby.
Honestly, I am doing ok. Mostly because I've had a week to prepare for this. Today while driving to work I had a few epiphany moments after balling my eyes out and singing hymns along with the radio.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (emphasis mine).
I believe that many of our illnesses and issues come from the fact that we live in a sinful, fallen world. While God may allow bad and hurtful things to happen, he will work these situations for my good. God wants what is best for me, and there is great power in knowing that.
How lucky are my babies if they get to skip this Earth and go straight to heaven? In all honesty, me and my husband are the only ones missing out here, while our babies are getting something and going somewhere SO MUCH BETTER!
I know that in all things, I have strength from God. And I pray that in that, people will be able to witness the amazing power of my wonderful Father, and the comfort he brings to his children.
Yes, I am sad, but I am also a little relieved to finally know what is going on. I also am relieved because regulating my hormones worked! I got pregnant just 2 months after we regulated my hormones, and, God willing, this means I will not need to wait another year in suspense, wondering if I will ever have a baby.
After our doctor's appointment, my husband morbidly took me out on a date to get sushi... which I can have again now that I'm not pregnant. He also discussed the trip we will now need to take to our local amusement park to ride all the roller coasters. Nothing like trying to emphasis all the good things about not being pregnant.
Thanks again everyone for all your encouragement! I truly appreciate it and hold all your prayers and kind words in my heart. I trust that things will work out for me, and I truly am optimistic for the future.