1,000 Gifts and Stressful Moments in Motherhood

I have been finishing up some painting around here lately (more on that later). I almost always paint alone because I am a perfectionist and therefore the designated painter in our marriage. I actually enjoy doing it because I usually get to listen to my audiobooks while I paint, and usually make some good headway in them.

The last two nights I've been painting and listening to 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voscamp. I have started this book about 5 times and never got very far into it. The beginning is desperately sad, as she describes several seriously difficult and painful situations.

This book is on my book list, though, and I decided I was going to truck through it.

I am so glad I did. It has been such a delightful read. The sad beginning set the stage for a life transforming message that has seriously shaken my core a bit. I don't want to go too deep into the book here, because Ann Voscamp is such a poetic writer and I need you to read this book yourself to get the full meaning of it, but as a quick summary, she talks about gratitude, and about truly understanding our salvation through an endless worshiping of God through gratitude.

The author is the narrator of the book, and she said something that hit me so hard, I stopped painting and wrote it down: Thanks makes now a sanctuary. When you take a moment to stop and acknowledge, you can turn any moment into a sanctuary of worship to the Lord.

The author is also a mom of 6 children as she writes this, and she knows exactly how hard and draining this motherhood thing is sometimes.

I truly underestimated parenthood, and how very hard and draining it is. The truth is, some days seem 200 hours long, I lose my temper, I never sit down, and I get overwhelmed. But what I have learned is that God honors my will to keep trying, to keep going, to keep swimming through all the challenges and receive whatever strength and grace He has for me. 

Most days are really great with these little ones. I have figured out schedules and routines that work for us, and I've learned to not put so much pressure on myself to be wonder woman. 

But then there are mornings like this morning. 

I woke up to my baby crying and I rolled over and pulled him in next to me to snuggle and nurse before the day started. He didn't have any interest in nursing though. His little arms were waving around wildly in excitement as he smiled at me. He was ready to get going. 

I was not ready. I knew what awaited me today..... a VERY full day. Chores that had fallen behind while I painted needed to get done today. Laundry needed to be folded and put away. The girls' new bunk bed needed to be put together and set up in their freshly painted room. I needed to meal plan, go grocery shopping, and clean for guests who are coming this weekend. I also needed to do all the regular, every-day things I normally do. 

I got up and started running. And kept running. I kept my cool most of the day, and I smiled and loved on my kiddos most of the morning as I went from thing to thing to thing. I tried to get everyone out of the house, was running late, and I grabbed the baby to put him in his carseat..... and he'd blown out his diaper.

Of course.

I took a deep breath, and set about changing him. I felt the anxiety and pressure of the day acutely at that moment, and I remembered that line: Thanks makes now a sanctuary.  

I looked down into my baby's face and saw his beautiful eyes looking back at me, his mama. Full of love and sweetness and newness. So lovely. And I closed my eyes and said "Thank you, my God, for this precious gift." Taking that moment of thankfulness completely diffused my anxiety. Remembering that I am so gifted with every breath I take was just the reminder I needed to take the pressure off of my to-do list and remind me to enjoy my little ones, my most precious gifts. It's amazing how such a small change of perspective can change the burdens of motherhood into pleasure.

Have you read this book by Ann Voscamp? Do you also struggle in the chaos of it all to be thankful?