So we had the wedding....
Then we went on our honeymoon, which was very simple. My husband didn't have much vacation time from work to do anything big, so we went to a nice bed and breakfast in Amish country in Ohio. We spent several days there in wedded bliss
And then it happened.
And we got a crash course in what marriage REALLY is.
Sure, we got that whole "building a life with your best friend" thing, and we got the whole "to have and to hold" thing, but it took a not-so-happy-birthday dinner to make us realize what marriage really is.
It was my 24th birthday and we were going out for dinner to celebrate during our honeymoon. We picked a nicer restaurant in town and got to enjoy a 4 course meal of French cuisine (my favorite).
I don't remember why, but we argued. Here's the thing, my husband and I rarely argue. SO this must have seemed like a big deal. The thing was, we were sitting in this gorgeous restaurant, in a corner by ourselves, and we were royally angry with each other. I remember picturing steam coming out of my ears, that's how mad I was. It was our first argument as a married couple and it was a doosy.
I don't remember anything about the argument, but what I remember was the result. We both fell quiet during the dinner and were stabbing food onto our forks in anger. During that moment we both had the exact same realization:
Marriage is permanent
Sure we thought we understood that marriage was permanent, and that whole "til death do us part" thing, but the realization of what the permanency meant hit us both at that moment. We couldn't just "break up" over an argument. We couldn't just walk away. We couldn't leave it unresolved. We HAD to resolve the issue because we were legally and spiritually bound to each other in marriage. We were one.
Not that either of us considered wanting to back out of our marriage over an argument, but it was the moment when we realized that marriage is permanent, and we had to learn to resolve our issues. Luckily that argument blew over quickly and we are still incredibly happy to be married to each other today.
|Happily married and taking photos in a photo booth :)|
And marriage being permanent is a huge game changer. Fights have to be resolved, you can't just walk away, you have to learn to give of yourself sacrificially, and you have to realize you are no longer you, but "we".
Marriage being permanent also has some very beautiful side effects. There is a security in knowing you are tied to each other in ever sense of the word, that you are vulnerable in your marriage together with your spouse, and that God sees you as a unit.
|Together even in difficult times: A bittersweet "selfie" of us taken a few hours after we found out we lost our second baby|
But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.