Reflections on 1 year of Marriage

Yesterday was our first wedding anniversary. It is amazing how fast this year has gone. I feel like we only just got married!

My husband and I took Monday and Tuesday this week off of work to have a mini vacation at home. It has been AMAZING. Sadly, my poor husband caught the nasty cold I had last week. So we have been having a mostly lazy weekend.

After 1 year of marriage, I have to say I am so happy I married who I did. I think the biggest mistake most people make is marrying the wrong person in the first place. They want to be married, want to be loved, and they feel their biological clocks ticking so they force a marriage with someone while they have red flags frying around in their head.

I know how this is. I was in a relationship in my "lost days" for several years with a man who I see now was completely wrong for me. Back then he was my best friend, and I made excuse after excuse for the issues we had. I justified the bad times with the good times. Finally we broke it off and I spent months curled up in bed crying because I couldn't imagine loving anyone else.

Scars healed and I met my husband. Within days I knew he was perfect for me. I had reunited with Christ, and my husband also accepted Christ before we were married. Yes there are things about him that sometimes drive me crazy, as there are things about me that drive him crazy. But I have never had a red flag, not one.

We both joke about how the cliche is cold feet on the day of the wedding. The bride is up all night worried and the man is wondering all day if he is making a mistake. My husband spent out wedding day enjoying time with our family and friends, completely relaxed. He said his feet were "toasty warm" (instead of cold). I slept a solid 9 hours before the wedding and never once was nervous or having second thoughts. I knew I wanted to marry my husband more than anything.

My second reflection on marriage is that it is not easy, but it shouldn't be difficult either. Our relationship really hasn't changed much since we got married (besides the obvious things that should change). We are still best friends, still laugh and are silly all the time, still try to make each other happy in every way we can.

Marriage is difficult enough when you have to weather the ups and downs of life. I constantly have to remember something our pre-marital counselors from church told us: it's us against the problem, not the problem in between us. That is what should be difficult about marriage: dealing with outside issues and problems that come along. What shouldn't be difficult is just being together. I know so many couples where they struggle to just be together. Again, I am happy, now that I see the struggles of life that wear on a marriage, that I married a man who is perfect for me .

I have also seen that marriage is wonderful. When I was a young girl I used to dream of what marriage would be like. I used to hope and wish for a wonderful husband. Then when I was about 15, I allowed reality to taint my hopes and dreams. I started pulling away from God and I started thinking that my ideals from before were unrealistic. After all, every relationship is difficult, right? It wasn't until I met my husband that I realized my childlike fantasies of marriage can and should be real. That marriage can be the sweetest most wonderful thing. That being with the one you love every day, growing in God and growing in love, can make you so incredibly elated and glowingly happy.

There are trials and times when we really hurt each other. There are times I am so angry at him that I can barely contain my anger. But mostly, marriage is sweet. Every day I look at him and my heart just bursts with love.

My little girls fantasies were true. I never should have allowed the world to lower my standards.