Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Becoming a stay-at-home wife and mother

In case you haven't been hanging around here at Corner of Joy over the last few months, we are expecting our first child in early June! It is a very exciting time and we are busy getting ready (did I ever mention that I am a bit of an over-compulsive planner?). 

Now as we close in on the final stretch here, some big changes are happening in other areas of our lives. One big thing that will be happening is that I will be finished working at the end of next week.

When I married my husband a few years ago I had a lot of student loan debt. In fact, I have about 4 times the debt my husband had when we got married. We have since whittled our debt down A LOT, but that doesn't change the fact that some of my poor past decision have really put us into a difficult position these first few years of marriage.

Although I believe that women and men are best served in traditional roles, I have felt strongly for the past few years that it is my job to carry as much of the debt burden as I could. Although my husband would have gladly bore the brunt of the load, I really felt like I needed to work to undo the past mistakes I had made. So I worked full-time for the first year and a half of our marriage for a trade insurance company.
My shnazzy work portrait
It was not always fun, and I struggled to keep up with both the housework while working all day (luckily my husband was always quick to lend a hand). After all, I truly believe that a woman's first job is to be keeper of her home, which makes working outside the home that much more of a burden. After suffering some health issues in 2011 and 2012, I decided to cut my work to a part-time schedule, which I have been working for the last year and a half. Our agreement has always been that ALL of my paychecks go directly to paying off our debt.
A big wake-up call when I ended up in the hospital for over a week due to spontaneous spinal fluid leaks
Well, life is changing now!

Despite that college degree which cost me WAY too much money, I am finally going to be able to realize my dream, and that is to become a stay-at-home wife and mother. At the end of next week I will no longer be employed outside the home. 


You know, this journey of discovering my true desires in life has shown me that a lot of my former dreams and ambitions were heavily influenced by what others thought I should want.

As in, how many people made sure I knew as a child that I could do and become ANYTHING I wanted when I grew up, and then subtly reminded me I didn't "just" have to be a wife and mom someday.

And how many people clapped and cheered for me when I became the first in my family to graduate from college, despite all the student loan debt and the lack of a financial plan for my future? And how many LESS people will cheer me on now that I have made the decision to "let my degree go to waste" and become a wife and mother?

I will tell you this: I have never been as content as I am right now in my life, realizing my true calling and ignoring all the people who told/tell me that it is not enough. I am so incredibly content to finally be going after what my heart has been nudging me towards for years. I truly feel that I am finally embracing the best plan God has for me.

I have received some support in this decision, most of it from others who have made similar decisions as me. And my sweet husband has made it clear he thinks he is getting the easier job going to work all day while I stay home with our baby (babies?).

One of my favorite ever blog posts is entitled M is for Mama on a blog with the same name. It is all about bucking the view that motherhood is not enough, especially for us college educated women who should be "doing something" with our degrees. I often share it with other women who, like me, struggle against a culture which makes the decision to stay home so much more difficult. 

I cannot wait to spend my days with my baby. I cannot wait to finally take ownership of my position at home and take the burden off of my hard-working husband. I am not naive enough to think that it will all be smooth-sailing. I know that staying at home can have its trials, but honestly I cannot think of any place I would rather be.

With this new stage of life, Corner of Joy will also be shifting focus a little. I truly will be a full-time keeper of my home, and I plan to spend more of my blogging space focusing on that and motherhood.

Have any of your made the transition from work to home? Did you find it a difficult one, or a joyful one (or both)?


  1. I still work full time out of the home as my husband prefers it. I would rather stay home and care for my family (2 little kids). I try my best to keep up with things at home and care for my kids (they are in an excellent in-home daycare that I love!), but there are sacrifices to be made.

    I am glad you are finally able to realize your dream of staying home with your child and caring for your family! Such a blessing - I wish I was in your shoes and it was me transitioning to being a stay at home Mom!

    1. Amanda, I know it can be difficult to continue with the daily grind when your heart would much rather be somewhere else. I commend you for respecting your husband's wishes in this.

  2. I've been a SAHM for 20 years almost now... It's by far the best thing I've ever done. I'm so close with all of my kids, and am blessed beyond measure. We've had financial struggles to be sure, but God has always provided! Now I work from home with my sewing skills and earn some extra money for long term savings, fun stuff, etc... I'm thrilled for you as you begin this new chapter in your life! :)

  3. How exciting that you are finally getting to realize your dream of being a SAHM! My Mom was a SAHM for nearly my entire childhood (out of necessity, she did work outside the home while my younger siblings were still at home) and I loved having her around!

  4. I cannot agree with you more Amy! It is only in the last few years that my academic and career pursuits were really driven because I was worried about what others thought. While I learned a lot through school and working - I cannot wait (when the Lord blesses us) to be a SAHM, and I am so thankful my husband is 100% supportive. I also love that he wants any daughters we have to grow up knowing that being a wife and a mother is just as valuable and important as working outside the home.

  5. All the best for this new stage of your life! I stay at home too for one year and I know I will never regret it! There is so much joy to be at the place God wants for us! That's right, there are financials struggles, but we can see the hand of God every months! Matthew 6.25-34
    glycine82 (from France)


I love to fellowship with others and hear what they have to say. I would ask, however, that you be mindful of what you write and try to be uplifting and respectful. Thank you for sharing!