Thursday, February 12, 2015

Date night!

This last Saturday Andy and I went on our first date since having Victoria. We did go out for sushi back in September, but she was napping the entire time we were gone, so we don't count that. 

This time around, I knew we needed to go on a "real date". Mommy guilt is a very real, and a very dangerous thing. Unfortunately, I see a lot of people making mom's feel guilty for "leaving" their child to go on a date with their husband.

I find this to be sad, because leaving your child for a short time with a trusted sitter is SO healthy for your marriage, and probably for your baby too. Baby learns that mommy comes back, and you and your spouse get the time to focus on each other without the hum of the baby monitor in the background. And it isn't as if it happens all the time.

I have really been craving some one-on-one time with my husband (without the baby monitor!), and I mentioned that to a good friend of mine. We met in our Bradley childbirth classes, and we both have daughters one month apart. We spend a lot of time together since we are both stay-at-home moms, and Victoria knows her quite well. I have seen her in action with her baby and mine, and I trust her. This is a big deal because we have no family around to leave Victoria with for a date night.

So my friend and I agreed that we would swap babysitting once a month so we could each have a nice date with our husbands and feel like something other than mommy occasionally. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being mommy. And I LOVE that I spend almost every bit of my daughter's wake time with her, but I also need to feel like just me sometimes. And I want my husband to see me as just me sometimes.

So last Saturday was our day to go on a date, and I was all excited! I got Victoria well napped and spent time in my closet trying to find the perfect thing to wear to wow my husband (and considering I only have about 10 outfits total, this was a tough task). I packed up everything Victoria would need and we dropped her off with our friends. She immediately started playing and having fun, and I knew she would be just fine.

So my husband and I left and got to go out to a nice, long dinner. I wish I had taken a picture of my meal because it was fantastic, but alas, I am a nursing mama and food doesn't last long near me! We got to talk about everything and anything without the stop and start that happens when a baby is needing attention. I got to take the time to flirt with my man, and I was ashamed I hadn't been doing enough of that at home.

After dinner we went to the local mall and walked around. There were a lot of people there because it was cold outside, and we had fun walking around and people watching. We bought frozen yogurt, and once again, it didn't last long!

We also received this fun photo from my friend of her baby and Victoria having a blast! (you can tell here how big my baby is, as the other baby is normal sized for her age and she is a month older than Victoria!)

Then we went to a book store and browsed around. It was a lot of fun looking at different books, games, and figurines. We ended up buying some new books for Victoria, as we are both sick of reading the same 3 or 4 books over and over again to her.

We stayed out for about 4.5 hours, which was the max I could go without nursing (I left a bottle with some pumped milk with Victoria). We arrived and there she was, dressed in her pjs, having fun cuddling with my friend. She was so happy to see me and kept resting her head on my shoulder. I am loving her age right now, as she is just starting to show affection.

Overall it was a wonderful time. I felt like my love-cup was full and my husband and I got to strengthen and focus on us. That was just wonderful. And I cannot feel mommy guilt over that. As having parents with a strong marriage and connection is healthy for any baby:)

Do you have an instituted date-night with your spouse? What are your favorite things to do?


  1. What an asset you have in your friend! I can definitely relate to craving a date alone with my husband. It's so important to break away from the daily tasks and reconnect! I don't see any reason whatsoever for "mommy guilt" for a date night with your husband. A happy marriage is the best gift you can give your child! :)

  2. I smiled a lot while reading this! Absolutely you should have time to spend one on one with your husband and no need to feel guilty about that. It's so nice that you have a friend that is willing to swap babysitting with you. Since we live around family, we will probably have a lot of potential sitters (especially my parents since it will be their only grandchild) and I know we will be very thankful for it!

  3. Ha! This made me smile because my husband and I ALSO just went on our first date without our little man (8 months old). We also went to dinner, and then to the mall and had frozen yogurt (well I only had one bite because my baby is sensitive to dairy), and then we bought him some clothes (because he is outgrowing things like crazy). It is very important to go out and do things as a couple, I agree.


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